Tuesday, March 16, 2010

You'll Be Fine

Current Mood: Recovering. I thought I was going to die last week. I live for another week.

Current Song: The whole soundtrack from Fanaa. Fab movie.

I've been encountering a lot of friends lately who are stressed. I myself included in that encounter. But then I've been worried since 1995, so really this is no surprise. There seems to be a bout of anxiety and stress and worry that seems to be clouding people's otherwise happy (or at least quiet) lives.

I think quite a few years ago, I said that if I was anything else aside from Ismaili, I'd likely be Buddhist. I'm not really a big fan of that whole suffering philosophy. But I rather like the whole concept of transience.

Everything in life shall pass: Good and bad.

It's important to keep perspective as we go through our lives. We often get bogged down by our own expectations. Very much our own doing.

I was watching Frasier yesterday and one of the callers who was on said that she couldn't get over her broken relationship and felt like she was in mourning. Frasier said that she was indeed in mourning, but not really about what was, but what could have been.

I think this also applies to stress. We often get caught up in the tide of anxiety when we start thinking about what could have been or what should be. I'm not saying that all expectations should be done away with, but it's often a wise move to choose which anxieties to engage with, and which not.

The world has operated long before you came into it, and will continue to operate long after you leave it.

We can all make a dent in this world, a difference of some kind, but it might just be a bit harder to do if we can't be present to complete the tasks we're meant to complete. We are all dealt the cards we're dealt. It's up to us how we play the game.

So in all, you'll be fine. Whatever happens, you'll be fine.

12 comments:

Raul (hummingbird604) said...

Yes, my dear - this, too, shall pass.

Lindsey said...

AMEN. I should definitely heed this advice as in times of anxiety or panic I'm likely to catastrophize.

I'm glad that you survived or else I would have few insightful blogs left to read.

Merci.

Sameer Vasta said...

I saw Ze Frank speak at SXSW this year, and your post reminded me of this project that Ze Frank did a little while ago.

It's remarkably comforting to listen to 20 strangers tell you that you're okay:

http://www.zefrank.com/zesblog/archives/2008/09/childrens_songs.html

Mehnaz said...

Raul - Indeed :) Thanks for checking in!

Lindsey - De rien ma chere! Thank you for your kind words! Lots of people catastrophize and it seems about that time of year where everyone needs a reminder.

Vasta - Thanks for sharing. I definitely will check it out!

Carol Browne said...

Frasier said that she was indeed in mourning, but not really about what was, but what could have been.

Oh. So that's what's going on for me. That's exactly how I've been feeling, but I didn't know it. Thank you!

Sam said...

Wise words as usual, my friend. You're right, everything will be fine, and like I said in my post on this topic, it's okay to freak out every once in a while when we really need to. You rock :)

Mehnaz said...

Carol - Frasier is wise man. Sometimes our expectations are our own undoing. Pick and choose your battles yeah?

Sam - I totally agree! We all need to flip out once in a while. it's cathartic. But it's good to know that you'll be fine! you rock too, my friend!

Ty Unglebower said...

I often have difficulty balancing the perfect line between "just letting go and letting the universe unfold as it should", and having ambitions and desires to impact the world. I too see many advantages tot he Buddhist perspective, but in the end don't think I could ever embrace it, because it SEEMS to my outsider view to take away any ambition. I confess that I do have ambition to do some grand things, and I don't know how to hold on to that and still be passive enough to not get worried about my failures sometimes.

Mehnaz said...

Ty,

I know what you mean. I think the thing that works for me (because i have a similar problem) is to pick the battles wisely. If you're going to be ambitious, work towards something, and know that failure is a necessary part of the process really. It takes more than 1 try for the most part.
I think fretting over things you CAN'T control is where people go wrong. I can't control whether I'm going to get the job I applied for necessarily, so just let it go. As long as you did your very best in the interview, the rest is up to circumstance.
Thanks for commenting

Ty Unglebower said...

That makes a lot of sense. The measuring stick being what you can and can't control. Still a thin line sometimes, but a line that makes sense, and one I try to stick to as well.

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