Sunday, March 28, 2010

I Freakin' Cried During a Disney Movie

Current Mood: Deep fried (It's all I've eaten over the weekend)

Current Song: Don't Let Your Feet Touch Ground by Ash Koley (Stupid Lotto ad)

I'm one tough cookie. I tend to keep it together in almost every situation. I am very good in a crisis (God knows I've had enough of those). I don't flinch at the sight of blood. My mother calls me "the rock" of the family. I come from a long line of stoics. Cicero would have loved me.

But for the second time yesterday, I freakin' cried during a Disney animated movie. The first time I was 12 and Mufasa died. I think I was allowed.

Yesterday we watched the Princess and the Frog (finally). It was so beautifully done. I won't tell you when I cried in case you haven't watched it, but I was a sopping mess. It was brutal. My sister laughed at me. My mother laughed at me. I'm pretty sure the neighbourhood would have laughed at me too.

I'm growing soft in my old age. And for a long time I fought that tooth and nail. But you know what? I'm just going to have to be okay with it. I'm just going to have to be okay with the fact that I'm not entirely made of stone.

I still have no emotional response to puppies and babies, but I'm starting to doubt my ability to keep it together at all times. Who knows. I might start watching chick flicks one day soon (Help me when I do!). And I guess that's what happens when you're not a cyborg.

I'm mellowing out. It was inevitable. Even stone changes over time. I'll just have to be okay with it. There is nothing wrong with it, it's just a different experience. That's all. Right, that's going to have to do as an explanation for now. But I still refuse to turn into one of "those" girls!

What do you think crying denotes? Is it a characteristic of emotional strength? Is it weakness? Is it neither?

PS: This is just to let you know that I'm changing blog platforms over the next few weeks. If you visit this site and see that it's a bit of a tip, then you'll know it's being rejigged. More info about the new site coming up!


Lindsey said...

Don't feel embarrassed, Disney movies are meant to tug at our heart strings, even those of the toughest gal. When Kate Winslet won her Golden Globe (I think it was that) for Revolutionary Road, and she was crying and thanking her husband AND Leo, I burst into tears. I don't know why, but I think it's because it was so genuine, her performance was excellent and I'm obsessed with Leonardo still and a part of me wished they would get together. Anyway, THAT'S embarrassing. Especially since I cried watching it alone (and every other subsequent time I've seen her speech on youtube).

I understand if we can't be friends anymore because of this confession. :)

Ty Unglebower said...

I don't know that it "means" anything per se, as you asked. Or maybe it means something when compared to the fact that you usually have not cried very much.Or that you try not to.

Perhaps the odd cry here and there is part if what you are, but that you have spent much time and energy denying that to yourself and others over the years. And in your alleged "old age" you are not so much becoming soft, as you are being a bit more comfortable with something that is natural to you.

It may have been that 5 years ago if you had seen that movie, you would not have even felt like crying, even if it would have been inside you somewhere. Because you had programmed yourself to not feel the need. Now that programming is changing. But it doesn't mean you are softening. I may just mean you are opening up more to what is naturally you.

Different things touch different people. Obviously it was a touching movie for you.

And I like how you said that even rock can change. And it can. Something as simple as water does it. What is the Grand Canyon after all but rock that has been cut away by the flowing of water over eons.

And yet nobody ever says, "what a weak rock. It got worn down by water over the years." No, people think the end result is quite beautiful.