Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sometimes the Abyss is Okay.

Current Mood: Got lots done today. Writing, however, is an epic fail

Current Song: Fireflies by Owl City.

Ever totally felt empty? Like it's all for naught? Sometimes there just isn't the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. It's dark when you get up, it's dark when you to sleep. Nobody calls. The only emails you get are reminders of the perfunctory variety. Life is just bland. Where is the fire? Yeah it's depressing isn't it?

But it's also okay.

I've been having that kind of a couple of months where I feel like I'm sitting around for far too much time. And what's worse is sometimes I don't want to be left alone with my own thoughts. They just go around in circles. And when they do that, they drive me crazy.

But that's fine. I can live with it. I can give myself time to stare into the abyss until I've had enough and then I'll get up and move on.

I sometimes have to remind myself that lying in wait is what's expected of you, when everything is out of your hands. And what you should do when you are waiting is make yourself useful to someone. Or in the very least, make a difference to someone. Send a "just because" text to someone. Be someone's light when you're not feeling particularly illuminated yourself.

Trust me. Sometimes it's worth lighting someone else's path. And leaving the dark to do what it might behind you. Trust that someone will light your path at some point.

For now, just wait. And be alright about it.

4 comments:

Sabera said...

This post really got me emotional. I've been having a similar past few months. Really relate to "Be someone's light when you're not feeling particularly illuminated yourself". I've tried it and it's helped me feel better every single time.

Don't worry - This too shall pass :-) Keep the faith!

Mehnaz said...

Thanks Sabera.

Sometimes life gets a bit tough. And when the going gets tough, the tough get caffeinated :)

I know I feel better when I help too :)

And indeed, this too, shall pass!

Karim Kanji said...

Reminds me of a quote from Zig Ziglar (paraphrased) - Help enough people get what they want out of life and you'll automatically get what you want.

I remind myself about this as often as I can...

Mehnaz said...

Thanks KK.
it's a good reminder especially when you're a bit off you know?