Monday, October 26, 2009

Break-Ups in the Digital Age

Current Mood: I'm doing a good psych job on myself regarding singing tonite. On the bright side, i have my blogging mojo back. Yesss!

Current Song: Something from Echoes by Jagjit Singh.

Today's blog post came to me about half an hour ago. It's partially inspired by Samantha Karol's blog on Brazen today about friendships in the digital age and partially based on watching crappy TV on MTV Canada. I know, I'm always classy.

In one such scenario on said crappy TV show, one girl was asking another whether she speaks to or sees her recent status ex. The breaker-upper replied that she has no contact with her ex and she has blocked him on facebook because she doesn't really want to know what he's up to or any of that.

It got me to thinking about how break-ups have changed since the advent of social media. It's now no longer about having your friend or sibling take his stuff back to his house (or you, should you choose to brave that whole ordeal). It's no longer about walking out never to see the person again, except perhaps by accident on some street in your city.

It's now more complicated to break up sometimes. What are you to do with contact on Facebook? Email? Twitter? Do you keep everything intact and creep around to see what the person's up to (you can all now admit you've totally done this)? God forbid you're members of professional organizations that make the whole thing a bout of admirable emotional calisthenics.

As much as being plugged in has given us access to friends and business contacts that you wouldn't stumble upon walking down the street, it comes with its difficulties. For some folks, these break-ups are easy and everyone can remain friends forever and ever amen. But if you're one of those who had a messy one to contend with, you've got some digital detritus to think about as well. Forget about his Alma Mater t-shirt as your biggest problem.

What say you, readers? Is breaking up in the digital age much harder to do?
picture credit:


Grace Boyle said...

Ugh, I've recently experienced this. My ex-boyfriend happened to be very active in the social media world (professionally and personally) making the breakup even harder to get over.

I unfollowed him on Twitter, blocked him from appearing in my Gchat and also blocked him from appearing in my mini-feed on Facebook. It wasn't a horrible breakup and I know someday we could be friends, so I didn't want to be dramatic and delete him on Facebook.

Nonetheless, it wasn't easy. He's everywhere online. I wish it wasn't so, but what can we do?

Mehnaz said...

Grace, I hear you!

It's much worse when there is the professional component and the person has some leverage in the social media world.

In the end, you have to do what's good for you and trust the decision you make :)
Thanks for checking in!

thomas said...

Let's consider the other side of this.
After a breakup, that person can practically stalk you also, follow you to see who you are hanging out with or even dating.

In fact its stalking which no one would actually notice, quite scary.

Mehnaz said...


Entirely true. It is a tad disconcerting to be stalked in such a manner. and technically it's totally legal because you're not standing outside their houses with your nightvisions.

Thanks for commenting.