Friday, October 2, 2009

Admitting is the First Step: Yes! I am a Writer!

Current Mood: Bit on the sleepy side. Long, fun, night.

Current Song: Tidal by Imogen Heap.

Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to go and see Margaret Atwood's reading of her new book, The Year of the Flood. I have never been to a reading before, and I'll blog more about it later. I went with a friend, Michael, and one of his lovely friends.

We stopped by a Starbucks afterward for a quick cup, and got to know each other a bit better. In the process, as we talked about writing, and books, I got the question, "Oh! So you're a writer?"

I fumbled. I "um"ed and "ah"ed around. There was a "well, I...uh...." in there somewhere, until Michael spoke up and said, "Yes, she is a writer."

I started thinking about the episode earlier this morning, and was trying to figure out why it is so hard for me to say that I am, in fact, a writer. It's not that I care much about what other people think of me. If you know me well enough, you'll know I've never half cared what people say/think of who I am and what I do. I don't fear boxes either. I live in the boxes, somewhat with my love of all things orderly and alphabetical.

The hardest part is connecting with myself and admitting it to myself. The words feel funny on my tongue..."I am a writer...I am a writer....I am a writer." I am going to have a difficult time with this new acknowledged part of myself that is quickly forming into something of substance. I don't know when it happened, but it's happening.

Admitting is the first step. The rest is just good grammar :)

Hope everyone had a fab weekend. Enjoy the dying sunlight while you can :)

2 comments:

isabella mori said...

hey there ... oh, i remember the first time i said those words, 39 years after my first attempt at writing a novel at the age of 11.

"writers write" is something judi piggott, wonderful mentor of vancouver artists, always says. and that's what you do. you write.

congratulations!

Mehnaz said...

Thanks Is!
It's still hard to say, but I assume it'll get easier over time :)