Saturday, July 25, 2009

Post 25: "Love is so Short, Forgetting is so Long" - Why Sometimes you just can't be Friends

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about exes and about the possibility/ probability of being friends after the end of a relationship. While I think it's great when people can remain in amicable relationship and nobody wants to vomit at the sight of the other, I don't think this is always possible.

It's a hard thing to do, especially when feelings were strong and there wasn't any amount of wrath or contempt in the break up. I feel that sometimes it's probably more detrimental to remain friends than it is to go your separate ways. I don't know why, but seeing some people is just difficult and being around them is draining.

During these types of moments, we have to look out for our own well-being. I'm a thinker but I'm slowly learning to listening to the ticking of my body and its reactions when something is adverse. Take it as a warning sign sometimes and just don't interact. See if you feel better or worse for the wear.

I used to think that having that kind of reaction meant that something was wrong with you. But I've come to realize that just as some friendships have a natural end, other relationships also have a natural end and that doesn't make you somehow awful.

Perhaps at some point, you're doing yourself a favour by moving on. As Pablo Neruda does say "Forgetting is so long."