Saturday, May 23, 2009

What If...

Current Mood: Contemplative

Current Song: Dream by The Everly Brothers (?)

I've had a strange week. As a result I've been thinking a lot about fate and all such matters all over again. I'm in my own head a lot these days (it's sometimes not a good thing). Today I happened upon that old movie (well, from the 90's I think), called "Sliding Doors" with Gwenyth Paltrow. Got me to thinking about how many decisions we make in one day about our own fates. And regardless, we still end up exactly where we're supposed to be.

Last week I was talking to one of my wise virgo friends about various goings on, and she said that the moment you relent to what's going to happen to you, things work out. You'll end up exactly where you're supposed to be. When you fight it, you end up there anyway, so there is really no use in trying to control things.

For those of you who know me, I give myself various timelines and work within them to achieve my goals. It's a tough life lesson for me to learn to just surrender to fate. I think I take the fact that we are the purveyors of our own futures rather seriously, and so I pretty much try to make things happen as I'd like. Clearly, as this week has shown me, it is not the case at all.

It's another thing I have to work on for myself is to let go of control. It's tough because I don't like uncertainty. But I suppose that's the only real thing in this world. uncertainty. that, and the fact that monday will always show up.

Okay, I'm done being a depresso. I shall talk to you all when I'm of a sunnier disposition. Or perhaps when I have started to live again in the outside world. Shan't be a couple of days. Enjoy the sunshine everyone!