Saturday, August 30, 2008

Forever in Transition

Current Mood: Hanging in there

Current Song: Khwaja mere Khwaja (Movie: Jodha Akbar, Language: Hindi)

Well, after having a week where everything hit me like a ton of bricks, I've discovered many many things about myself. I think my generation will forever be in transition in some ways. For one, I feel like I will always be "In transit". Most of you will already be aware that I'm somewhat of a middle-grounder in most ways. For one, I'm a cuspian, and a tough one at that. Having to mix fire and earth is certainly an interesting challenge. Parts of me want to charge ahead and fly off with ideas, but the earthen part of me always likes to micromanage, look at every detail and move deliberately. Sometimes I find myself in a right pickle because I won't let myself move ahead. There's one middle ground for you.

The second middle ground as I quietly discovered this week is that I'm a Type A and Type B personality mix. I'm a workaholic. I love nothing better than a 50 hour week to keep me going. When i have to sit around for this long with nothing to do, I slowly start to lose my mind, and get very lethargic and depressed. I can have the eternal patience of a saint with some people (ask some of my more emotional friends), and I can be quick on my feet in a get-crap-done kind of way. I'm not sure why, but somehow I've been assigned to be forever in transition. I'm never "there" with nowhere to go. There's always a next step.

God certainly decided to play this one up with me didn't he? Let's confuse her, I'm sure he said to everyone. I find my path in life will likely be cumulative in the end. I'll somehow have to fuse all of the outliers together to make my own destiny. It's going to be an interesting journey. It's funny that when you have so much time to think, you come up with all of these things.

I'm not directionless, I just have a long way to go in one direction. But afterall it's really always the journey that counts right?
Okay, it's freezing cold, so i'm going to go hang out somewhere warm, I think. Ciao for niao!