Saturday, July 26, 2008

Conditional Friendships (Entry 28)

So I've always wondered about one thing when it came to friendships. What's up with conditionality? I think I don't really mean conditionality in the sense that you're only friends under certain conditions. There is something that I've never understood about myself. I tend to be troubled by some friendships where I only see the other person once in a while, and yet some of my closest friends can go months without seeing me and when we catch up with eachother there are no feelings of despondence.

I think I might have narrowed it down, but I'm not quite certain. I think that where I do see a problem is with those friends whose direct line of thought doesn't involve me. They are too busy thinking and being something or somewhere else that I don't cross their minds at all. Or if I do, they never let me know. That's where I think my contention might come in.

However, some of my closests who I don't see often are very good at letting me know that they're thinking about me. Text messages and facebook messages are not infrequent and there are many of "just thinking about you" moments.
I've gotten used to taking a hard line approach to the former type of friend who says "we should get together more often". My response generally is "Let's not pretend we will. I'll see you next year as planned". Sounds harsh, but it mediates those expectations rather well. Sometimes you gotta lay it down on the line eh?
Okay, back in half!

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