Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Stuff Brown People Like

Current Mood: *sniff sniff*....i'm gonna cry

Current song: Rehab by Amy Winehouse.

I just wrote the worst essay of my life so I am taking a blog break to rid myself of the bad vibes, after which, I shall go for a run, to rid myself of more bad vibes. Seriously people, the bar is so low on this essay, I'm going to have to warn people not to trip over it.

I discovered a new blog yesterday whilst perusing the Globe and Mail. It's called Stuff White People Like. It's basically about stuff white people like. It's really funny, and I wish i had thought of that idea first. So in honour of stuff that different ethnicities like, I have come up with a short list of stuff brown people like. See below:

1. London - Brown people love london. It has enough curry to not make you feel homesick, but it's far enough that you can brag to your friends about it. For instance, people will ask, "where did you get that lovely sari?" and brown person can reply, "Oh, i was in london. I have family there you know."

2. Grandmas - no brown people ever hate their grandmothers, and mostly because grandmas are the best cooks. If there was a competition for best grandma, everyone's grandmother would win.

3. Clubbing - This is mostly little brown people. They love a good club or lounge if they are "low key". They then proceed to bombard everyone with pictures of themselves at said club. Here's me and my two best girlfriends sitting, here's me and a bunch of guys holding drinks, here's me holding a drink, here's me dancing it up, here's my self portrait by the bathroom door....and so on..

4. RJ1200- Because you can't get a browner radio station if you try.

5. Music Parties - It doesn't really matter who is singing or how bad they are, brown people love a good music party. It's a chance to sing along from the songs you learned on RJ 1200, and show off your new clothes from London, as well as compare the food that grandma makes to the menu.

6. Superstore - Brown people love superstore. It's all chock full of good sales, and has a huge aisle of "ethnic food" where countless hours are spent comparing Patak's tikka masala with that other new brand.

7. "Back Home" - because nothing will ever be as good as it was "back home" no matter how many years you've been here. You could have been born here but still conscribe to the "back home" phenomenon.

8. Oprah - Because she kind of looks brown so we can sympathize with her weight problem, and her wardrobe issues, and her new hairdos. what we can't sympathize with is why she won't marry that Stedman!

9. The Amazing Race - because sometimes they have episodes where you can see "back home" and how it might have changed. "Ay! Look! That's the street where they used to sell barbecued corn slathered with lemon and chilli!...is that an internet cafe?"

10. Coiffing - Not a hair out of place please! It would ruin the whole look! Hair must be sprayed into place so it doesn't move if hit by wind, and doesn't move at all when you go on a picnic. the horror if it did!

Okay, i'm done. I'm sure i could find more things to say, but i'm sure I have some work to do...ciao for niao!