Friday, February 22, 2008

Permanent Residents of Sadness

Current Mood: Apathy

Current Mood: Agnus Dei by Libera (sometimes prayers help).

Of all of the months that can be the worst in my recent existence, this one would quickly take the cake and eat it too. What a month! Holy things going wrong everywhere! It finally got bad enough that I cried....twice! I am not a crier. Anybody who knows me can vouch for the fact that I could be in a really bad mood and sometimes I don't handle things with the most grace, but I generally don't burst into tears. But anyway, I guess I'm getting a bit soft these last few years. That doesn't help does it. I'm hoping March will actually be beneficial instead of making me want to stay in bed for the rest of my life.

I thought I would write a bit of serious blog this time around here. In my short life, I think I have learned that when we expect things, they go badly. I think everytime I have had expectations of anything, it hasn't worked in my favour. That's why even in school, I don't expect to live up to any of the reputations that seem to be conferred on me (I'm pretty sure that people think that I'm smart because I wear glasses, where in real life, I'm no smarter than the average bear). Once you start living up to other people's visions of who you are, you lose yourself. And once you begin to expect external events to go your way, they most certainly won't. I think I'm becoming a bit more like my mother in that sometimes it's best left to god what happens in our lives. You just do your best and hope the ground underneath you doesn't open up and swallow you whole. So in that vein, I shall continue to not have any expectations. That way surprises are sweeter and disappointments sting a little less.

I am going to england this year I think. I need a vancouver break. will see if I can go to Rome as well or perhaps Paris....

Okay, now that I've dampened your moods, you can click here to read something funnier. Scott Feschuk follows closely after John Stewart and Strombo on the list of men I'd marry if given the chance.
Well, I hope things improve for me, and stay sunny for you all. Will write when the urge hits again! later days!