Thursday, June 21, 2007

And I Wonder, Still I Wonder....

Current Mood: happy for people whose lives are going well

Current Song: that one about the rain (in my title. I only know the one phrase. it's super-lame)

I'm feeling slightly pensive today, so I'm just going to prattle on for a while. I've always been terribly pragmatic throughout my life. If someone were to tell me that they are going to cut off their arm, I'd say well make sure you have some tissue nearby and make sure you don't have to drive anywhere soon after. I've sometimes been logical to the point of fault. So when a friend asks me if I believe in soulmates, my reply is no. I probably never would. I think that soulmates is a word made up by people who don't own up to their circumstances. I don't believe that life is a choice all the way either and I'll tell you why.
This year has been an exceptionally important year in learning that something or someone is actually watching over me. Somebody knows better than me despite my horrible attempts to navigate the course of my own life. I believe in God or Karma or the-powers-that-be. There are a great many things that I could have chosen along my life path that I was clearly saved from. Perhaps because I have to do something better. The bad choices always seem to "go away". Sometimes it takes a long time to learn this, but eventually someone up there saves your ass.
So back to the question of soulmates. No, you can't be my soul mate. You can be a good compatible match. God puts these people in our lives (or something does, if you don't believe in this whole god thing). Sometimes the universe converges to ensure you get to know somebody and that that person likes a good book, or comedy clubs or hiking or ballroom dancing like you. We often try for ourselves, but most of the time it feels awkward and wrong. I think we are tempted to make our own choices, and those of us who do are brave, and should continue. Don't however be afraid of being part of something bigger than you. Sometimes it's good to be knocked out of your comfort zone. Don't whine and play victim either. Life is for learning. It's best we do, until we find our "perfect fit", until something doles out the a propos situation.