Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Warning: If you are looking for funny, today is not the day

Current mood: slightly emotional

Current song: You Know So Well by Sondre Lerche

This would be the second in a series of days where sleep seems to have escaped. I slept with a terrible headache and woke up only to find that it had somehow gotten worse. I woke up to the sound of crows today, piercing the morning silence with their shrill warning alarms. The white hot sun stung my eyes. Who knew that the sun could be so adverse sometimes, especially when you are not ready to greet the day. Again, this is what a hangover probably feels like.

I woke up at 8 and had my coffee and went for a run at 9. My lungs hurt again from the frosty air that hadn't quite burned off as yet. While I breathed in the shards of piercing air, the sun warmed my back. It is weird to be pulled in two different directions.

Today is one of those days that I am grateful for a God. he takes so many forms, and sometimes I don't agree with them at all. He is sometimes a small god running circles around my feet and pulling at my pant leg or untying my shoelaces. He is sometimes a big god, one that moves the mountains, whose voice you can hear in the hollows that lace their way through forests. It becomes difficult to deny his presence in my life. I am grateful for that sun that woke me up rather jarringly, and the robin that started singing at 5 in the morning amidst my fitful bouts of sleep. I am grateful for cuts and scars and the ability to get back up when I need to. I am grateful for being breakable and for healing. I am grateful that I have time. Time, that I can sip slowly so I don't have to see the bottom of the glass too fast. Time that lets me run and catches up when it needs to.

Today is a fitful day. I am a specimen in a convergent universe. Let me have my time.