Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Undefined Risks of Being a Writer


I am doing something in this blog entry that I have never done. I'm posting up a short story. Enjoy (Be forewarned: It's not funny, and it's a little out of the box)

Conversations with the Dead

"It’s cold out here. Do you want to go to the place across the street and get something to drink?" He asked me as he adjusted himself on the marble picnic table. I could feel his eyes on me though I was looking away into the water. The sky was flecked with gold, just above the morning fog that had settled over the North Shore Mountains. It looked as though some great thing was trying to cover up the fog with gold leaf hoping us common folk wouldn’t notice. Painting over past mistakes and regrets. I loved the water in the morning. The tides were just starting to turn and the horizon promised a beautiful day.
"No, I think I want to sit out here for a bit longer. You can go if you like." I replied absentmindedly.
I never knew what to make of these meetings between us. They always left me with the feeling that my lungs had withered up like chilli peppers left out in the sun for too long. We met once a year, out of habit now. There were no reasons to do so. I was like a smoker who only had one cigarette a year on New Year’s day to reminisce in the habit, to test myself. Yes I still had it. Yes I was still capable of inhaling the smoke and making smoke rings to impress the masses. I squirmed at the thought of my husband lying in bed at home, warm and the children still asleep in their bunk beds in their dinosaur pajamas. I wrapped the scarf around my neck a bit tighter, and brought the zipper of my coat all the way up to prevent my insides from shrivelling.
I hardly noticed when a hand reached over to my knee and tapped me gingerly, drawing my attention to a cup of coffee.
"Non- fat vanilla latte as I remember. I hope you still drink them." He said.
"Yes, thanks I do."
I winced at his thoughtfulness. I had no heart to tell him that I preferred masala tea nowadays.

We had some long, archaic story that is better left to dollar-store novels and Bollywood movies. One fall morning, we had decided on our next meeting and neither one of us had made the effort to follow through. We had both known that day that it was over. We had both known that we would have to move through life, not recounting what had happened between us. Like everyone in a room trying not to talk about the ugly wallpaper that encased them. We moved away. My life took me to publicity parties, and book signings. His, I don’t know. We never talked about it again.
On that fall morning, every year, we went to the same place, by the water. We believed that if we conversed with something that was past, that there was some kind of acknowledgement that would take place. Perhaps it would speak back. So neither one of us would have to wonder. So neither one of us would have to regret. Today again, was that fall morning, and every year it was the same. We watched the ferries pull into the dock, and sleepy people walking their dogs, each one stepping through a patch of sunlight that lay on the ground. Stars for just a moment. My eyes traced the footsteps of an old woman who took her basket of groceries across the street. She walked as though if she walked any faster, the wind would corrode the carrot sticks that peeked out of her wicker basket.
"My husband will be up now. I should go home. The boys have a game today." I said breaking a silence of several minutes. "Thanks for the coffee."
"It was good to see you again." He said, looking down at my shoes.
"You too."
We got off the table. He gave me a hug and kissed my forehead. He still wore that cologne.
I walked back into the parking lot and drove to my suburban home, passing burnt trees that prettily lined our walkway. The slight breeze made them toss their leaves like celebratory confetti.
"Hey you! Where have you been? I made some tea." My husband greeted me. "I haven’t woken the boys up as yet."
"I was just out for a walk." I replied, kissing his cheek.
I unzipped my jacket. The warmth spread back up my neck, making my head feel warm again.
"Two sugars, just the way you like it" He said with a smile, handing me my tea.

Monday, February 26, 2007

And in a Bizarre Twist of Fate


Current Mood: Bored beyond all comprehension

Current Song: Into the Ocean by Blue October (I'm not Emo, I swear!)

So strangest stories ever have accumulated in the last little while. Last saturday, I went to breakfast (very early) with my friend SJ. There has been a strange pattern whereby everytime we meet to catch up the gods conspire against us and something goes terribly awry. The first time, I was late (the one and only time). The second time, we couldn't find the restaurant. This time, I told him to meet me at the IHOP at lougheed. So, i got there on time, and got us a table, and ordered my coffee (very necessary because it was 7:30 in the morning). I sat waiting and decided after a few minutes to text him and tell him I am at a table. He called me soon after saying he was at a table as well....only he wasn't at the same IHOP as myself. He thought I said to meet at the IHOP on Lougheed Highway. I sat at the table laughing to myself while he made his way over. Brunch was a three hour affair. Worth it, despite the conspiracy that imbues in my life.

In another bizarre twist, there was some new research done in Germany saying that there is an upsurge of Islamic conversion. In Berlin, one mosque claims to convert an average of 10 people a week. That is 520 people a year. I think this is most bizarre for several reasons, which I shall not recount because my hand hurts from typing. But think about Germany's past. When my mom heard, she launched into declarations claiming that the end was nigh. My sister and I looked at eachother and made cuckoo faces.

I did finish "Hulaballoo in the Guava Orchard". Very light-hearted tale and well written. i do like Desai's writing style. It is not effortful reading and keeps you engaged enough to want to finish the book, but doesn't impose on you if you want to leave it for a day or so. The best type of book. Now I start Chitra Banerjee Devakurani's book "Vine of Desire". We'll see how this goes. I am looking for Sidharrtha next. Must find. Perhaps I'll go to that old Bookstore.
Until we blog again

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Odds and Ends


My hair smells nice...it's all new and washed and cool. Good stuff.

On TBS, today is supernatural movie day. i wish I could stay home all day and watch movies about Vampires and all of those good ones. Awwww, and I'm going to miss Van Helsing tonight too. awwwwwwwwww.

So yesterday, I read an article in the Burnaby Now about etiquette and how there is a lack of it in general. I agree. There are people who just don't know that they're being uncouth. How do you not know? It was a funny article and it was written by Christina Myers. I like her. She's like the Siobhan Rowe of burnaby (unless Siobhan Rowe lives in Burnaby)

In other slightly unrelated news, Tony Blair (the prime minister of my hometown) has decided to start withdrawing troops from Basra in Iraq. Finally after being under such fire, he has decided to get a brain. People still aren't happy because he's only bringing home some of the troops. He was the biggest ally that the US had and even he's saying nuts to this crazy war. I say good on ya. When is Harper going to catch up?

Also, new sportscaster on CTV weekend news! His name is Farhan Lalji. Ismailis represent Wut!
Also also, I got me a new digicam! Weeeeee! So excited! I've been playing with it for two days now! See the profile picture...it's brand new baby!
Okay, I have to go return a movie, and buy some rice...see ya!

Friday, February 23, 2007

I'm Just Saying is All....


There's a boy who knows he's hot. I'm just saying that he does. i've encountered so many of them in my lifetime. They know they're good looking, and they are charming as all heaven. But they know it. Perhaps that's what bothers me. The ladies just flock to them don't they. There is no intrigue. I'm not sure why it bothers me. Then there are those ones who are unaware of their potential, but everyone around them knows it. The ladies throw themselves at him too. That's attractive, but even more annoying. I'm not sure about that one either.

So I was trying to count up all of my close friends, because I collect people. I'm thinking it might be good to get them all in one room at some point in time, probably to commemorate my 25 years on this earth. I realized that most of my closest friends are male, which is so weird. Even for me. I only have about 3 close girlfriends. I think it's largely because men don't cause as much drama as girls do. Women tend to sabotage eachother quite often, and men let things slide. Both a good and a bad thing. Mostly good i think.
Anyway so about this 25th commemoration. I hate parties with a vengeance. I hate having them, and I hate going to them, and I hate planning them. I was one of those kids who hated birthday parties. I remember the one party I had in Africa was orchestrated by my mother. Much to my objective sulking, she had a huge cake in the shape of a train, and all of these kids (some I didn't know). I wore a nice yellow dress that day. It was very festive. Still, that's the only big bday I have had in my lifetime. usually i would crawl into a hole and wait for it to pass. But I guess 25 years of being alive might actually mean something like time to get my crap together. More details about this commemoration to come....
anyway, I should go do something constructive....now where did I put those safety scissors and that glue.....

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Happy Birthday Blog!


Yay! Today is my Blog's first birthday. Yes, that's right. It has officially been one year since I've had a life. Oh sad. But I have enjoyed the writing. It forces me to write as often as I can. It's not all that interesting, but it passes the time.
So in honour of this occasion, I've decided to recount some special memories.
PS: That's totally a cake! It's from some place called Collette's Cakes in the bowels of the United States (PPS: not a good idea to use the word "cake" and "bowel" in the same sentence)
February 2006 - I was in love with Travis and I thought people sucked (remember Travis?)
March 2006 - I discovered a new bookstore, and some new words like Weltschmertz
April 2006 - I turned an inauspicious 24, we ran out of water, and had a new bathtub put in. Remember that? How awful for us all. I fell in love with Scott Fescuk
May 2006 - I complained about the lack of Bras in the city, and started plotting my leave from this continent
June 2006 - I fell in love with an Australian chef and half of the teams for the FIFA world cup
July 2006 - I wanted a 3000 dollar buddha (I'm Waiting!....), my Timmy's on North Road met an untimely demise (so many memories...)
August 2006 - LONDON BABY!
September 2006 - I don't remember most of it, because I was too busy choking.
October 2006 - We discovered Laguna beach, which has changed our lives, and I got mad at Prince Lorenzo whatshisface. What kind of man cries?!
November 2006 - We reminisced about the rain, and the load of it that was coming down, and I fell in love with McSteamy
December 2006 - I fell in love with George Stromboulopoulos (man, I fall in love a lot...i'm so fickle) and I camped for the first time in 12 years. How odd.

Well that was a year in perspective. You'll notice I didn't recount January. Mostly because it was 20 days ago, and I'm sure you're not gerbils, so you probably have a salient enough memory. Unless you are highly intelligent gerbils. I'll stop talking now. Enjoy!

Monday, February 19, 2007

So Good to Wear My Little Purple Shoes


It was a good weekend. I got something so awesome (no it was not the digicam...which I am still unhappy about). I got a pair of purple pumps, pointed, kitten heel. They are the world's most comfortable shoes! I am so excited about them. I think I'm going to like being 25! And the best thing was that they were under 20 bucks, which just sweetens the deal. Life is my new favourite thing.

I also ate a bunch of chocolate on the weekend. It's really not so much good to be eating that much chocolate. Really.
I went to see a movie with my friend. We watched "Breach" which is the movie about a US FBI agent who is a Russian spy. It was a really good movie. I wish there was more shooting, but I had a good old time. I recommend it for all those folks who like the espionage kind of movies. Like I said, I'm a total movie boy. Yes, go see it.
In other news, Britney Spears shaved her head. Oh God. Thats going to make her tree trunk neck look even thicker. Ugh. I have however, often told zoyah that we should shave our heads and start from scratch. I think that was the hair can grow in untainted. Or I can keep my fabulous hair. Plus i'm not really a hat person, so I'd likely look kind of ridiculous.

In other news. I hate facebook. It's odd, because it exposes everything about you to whomever. I work so hard at burning bridges, only to have them rebuilt again. yuck. Frankly, I'm not excited about seeing high school folk that I never spoke to in the first place before the reunion. Heck, I don't even want to see them then. I'm a snob. Sue me. Oh well. We'll have to exercise a bit more scrutiny. hmmmm.
Anyway, special blog entry in two days...you'll find out why!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

How Scintillazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Current State: Sleepy, cranky

Current song: Dusting down the stars by Mobile (it's been in my head for 2 days! waaaah!)

Okay so I finally FINALLY finished Rainsongs of Kotli. As my mother would call it, it was a bit "taxing", so to speak. I'm generally good about the books that I read, because I pick extremely carefully. If you have ever been to a bookstore with me, you know that endeavour could take HOURS at best. Anyway, I didn't enjoy it a lot. It seemed arduous and at times effortful. The writing flowed, in the same that a thesaurus flows. It was like a bad relationship. There was no connection, you stick it out because you started it, there seems to be no end in side and when it ends, you feel nothing but relief. Honestly. No mother, i will not be lending you this book, unless you give me a reason to hate you.
Now I begin "Hullaballoo in the Guava Orchard" by Kiran Desai. You may know her for her award winning book "The Inheritance of Loss". I started the former last night, and so far, it seems to be treating me well. Expect a review, hopefully a better one than Rainsongs got.

So, I think we should leave Anna Nicole alone. What is our fascination with this? It's covered nearly everyday on Nancy Grace, and on every entertainment show there is. Frankly, I'm sad she died, because she left a child behind, and for no other reason. She was a bit of a wreck, so perhaps things would just have gotten worse from here on in. It might have been for the better. Human nature is a bizarre thing. We have this fascination with the grotesque and freak-show events in this world. Not so much good sometimes.

Still no digital camera. I'm going to roundhouse kick someone if they don't give it to me by this weekend. Or else it had better be free. I know, I'm not funny today. But sweet mother of all that is good in this world, I'm so tired! I think it's best I come back with a vengeance after this weekend. Have a good one everyone!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.


Happy Singles Awareness Day (and valentine's day...*grumble grumble expletive*)
This is me being sweet. I know my mom is thinking "Why didn't I give her up for adoption when i had the chance". She already called me stupid child this morning. Ah, I love family :P
So anyway, let's start of with Top Reasons It's good to be Single:
1. Granny Undies can rule your life (they come 5 for $8!)
2. You can flirt shamelessly with as many people you want at any time
3. Filip
4. If you want to be smelly you can be smelly (but please don't).
5. You dress up for you (and you're hot!)
6. You can hang out with "The Boys" and nobody will be jealous
7. You never have to choose between partner and [insert other thing: friends, family, dog, work]
8. You can make your own damn decisions, even the stupid ones
9. None of that crappy romantic stuff (Chocolates make me fat, i'm allergic to flowers, and silver makes my ears itch)
10. You can try plenty before you bite the bullet and commit (that's half the fun! :))
Okay, so I went to get digicam today. It's not there today! How annoying is that. The moment they told me it hadn't come in, my brain got hot, which was not good. If you say it's gonna be there on a certain day, it had better damned be there....Stupid people. I nearly cancelled the order and reamed them out, but I figured I'd wreck my own day if I did. So, we wait patiently for this stupid thing. What a hassle *expletive expletive*
Anyway, time to get something to eat. Have a good one everyone!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

If You Want to Hear the Pitter-Patter of Little Feet, Put Shoes on Your Cat


Why did I eat so much? *groan* Another one of those eaty eaty weekends. Too much Pizza, too much Orange Sorbet (By the way: if you haven't tried Safeway's Orange sorbet, you obviously live under a rock...go out right now! and buy it! Right Now!)
So on Saturday, I spent nearly the entire day at a symposium downtown on gender policy and international development. They had some very interesting speakers and some very interesting presentations. I particularly liked the one about HIV/ AIDS and gender policy. The statistics are astounding. And really, really sad. I didn't think I'd know anyone, but an intern I worked with was there, as was the CIDA rep, and my friend's cousin. And I met some other people as well. I have so much to learn. I like how these things give me a sense of incompetence that I feel I need to overcome! To work we go!
Also, watched Devil wears Prada. I loved Meryl Streep. She was amazing, and so cut throat. *sigh*....makes me wish I was one of them :) And the clothes! Oh the clothes were to die for of course. The red shoes...I bet you they were Manolos. They had to be.
Bought a shirt today. It's white....i know...again....I have no taste. I figure if I stick to basics, I can't go wrong, and be one of those fashion tragedies. So far so good :)
Okay, that's about it for today....Will keep you updated on my goings on!
The Hills tomorrow! Yay! My life rules :)
For those on Digicam countdown: 2 More Days!

Thursday, February 8, 2007



So, I just came back from a production of La Boheme put on by UBC Opera. It was really well done....great singers, great streamlined set, good costuming, wonderful orchestra. It was a good bit of fun. La Boheme is ethereally melodramatic, and sort of an odd take on An Italian's view of the french. Still it makes me want to move to paris, and hang out in cafes, date a painter, smoke cheap cigarettes and read Camou. How romantic a notion that is. I love the Opera....*sigh*

So my favourite other blog, This Fish (thisfish.ivillage.com/love) wrote about how it's not love if it doesn't suck. Not in the way where you have to be hurt everyday of your life, but how inconvenient it can be. For instance, having to go to the concert for a band that your partner loves but you don't care for, or having to go to your partner's mother's 65th birthday when she is the true incarnation of what Sailors called the Sea Hag. I agree, you really gotta deal with that type of guff. Kudos to those of you who haven't set your hair on fire yet. I admire your braveness (or pity your foolishness....whichever)

And now, to bed I go. An early reminder that February 14th is Valentine's Day/ Single's Awareness Day. Be nice to your valentine (Men: No stale chocolate! Women: He'll appreciate a power drill, NOT the photo frame!). Be nice to the singles in your lives to. They earned that badge of honour!
Single and Proud of it!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

I Consistently Disappoint The Angel on my Right Shoulder


That's right. I probably do disappoint that angel everyday. Oh well. Better to have lived, than to have stared out the window.

Anyway, so yesterday I went to see Pan's Labyrinth with a friend of mine. Good movie. Good in a gratuitous violence and gooey sense. It's very different from other movies. And it's in spanish. I would only recommend it if you can stand graphic violence (much close-range shooting happens). It's a weird/different kind of story. Worth seeing. But again, beware! I saw some woman who seemed to have brought her 6 year old with her. Probably not the world's greatest idea/the world best parenting decision. Hmmmm. Sometimes you have to wonder at the choices people make. o_O

So, I'm sure you heard about the Astronaut story. Was that not the most amusing story you have every heard? She drove from one city to another with a diaper on so she wouldn't have to take a pee break to confront the woman who was sharing the affections of a man. Love triangle at its weirdest. GET ANOTHER MAN! God, what's wrong with these people. Here, you can HAVE Filip! sheesh....
And it makes me think, there are people who do so well for themselves. Like becoming Olympic medalists, or astronauts and they go and screw it all up by doing something so imbicilic that it boggles the mind. As someone once said, there's a thin line between genius and insanity.
And a woman no doubt. I think this woman just set the Women's movement back about 2 weeks. The things you work at, glass ceilings and such. Then some complete defective comes and screws it up. I tell ya.....
Alright, I'm done expressing my rage about this situation. Tomorrow I'm going to La Boheme at the Chan centre. I'm very excited. Details soon!

Monday, February 5, 2007

Who Me? I just wander from room to room...


Sometimes self-awareness and my generally introspective nature leads me to ask, do people know when they're being stupid? Like really? do they? There are people who vary in the ability to recognize when they are coming off being rather offensive. For instance, do people buy into the signs that you don't like their company? Once in a while, I get the people who want my entire autobiography including the undisclosed nitty-gritties, when they have just walked in through the door and shook my hand. Listen, if you want my autobiography, you are just going to have to wait for my memoirs!
See, I figure that if you know yourself well enough, you are able to at least monitor. I know when I'm being a jerk....that's all well and good. And I'm also perfectly at peace with the fact that I'm kind of nerdy, kind of cynical, and an intellectual snob (and I have friends!...surprised? Probably because I'm so damned loveable!). I don't think some people have that radar and don't have quite that level of self-awareness. It would be a tremendous benefit I think.

So here's what...Oprah did a show on Aging Well. Holy crap. There was one woman who was 70 and looked to be maybe 55 or so. And the woman who was 55 looked 35. They all said that the secret to looking that young was that they were doing what they loved, and they loved themselves while doing it. I think what keeps my inner beast tamed is having coffee on a regular basis...and the workouts don't seem to be hindering the process either. Luckily, my family ages well. My mother is actually 75! and my grandmother...214....and me....58....don't I look good? :)

Watched The Hills today. There's already a player and I'm so looking forward to the rest of the season. Seriously, I have no life. One more week until a digicam! yay!

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Does rain mean angels are crying or God is spitting?


So it's saturday, and I have toooo much ammo to wait for two days to write a blog. This morning, we went to the Bank, so i can count how much money I have and roll around in it, if I have time. It was not roll-worthy. But I got my cute teller *blush*. His name is Filip and he's Italian I think, and tall and has curly hair (which not a big fan of), and he makes conversation with me. He makes me smile. My mom told me I look good when I smile. I frowned and told her if she wanted me to smile more, then I should have to take Filip home. She scoffed.

Then we went to the Carwash. They do these hand carwashes out on Hastings Street. Once you figure out where the joint is, you leave your car there, and they do it all up pretty for you. It even smells nice :) The old man who did the car wash, was this fellow, perhaps Afghani, or maybe something like Albanian. He looked shrewd, but he had good taste. He asked my mom if I was her daughter. She said yes (Thank God!), and he said "very nice". I think he meant I was good looking. I have to agree with his taste. I like old benevolent men. And he wasn't pervy, and didn't check my butt out in those jeans. That was refreshing.

I found a new website, which I think is very cool. It's at www.postsecret.blogspot.com. Basically people send in anonymous postcards (much in the spirit of my list in the previous posting), and they are posted on this website. It's very interesting to read. It was recommended someone on This Fish. Yes, I have too much spare time on my hands. Below, is the one I thought was funny, and kind of cute. Not sure if it applies to me. Though I have to say, being single has its perks (i.e. Filip!)

Checker out! Okay, I'm going to go and take a bath. I shall come back soon...

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Things Unsaid and Little Blessings


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! It's so late right now and I've got this cough, which is driving me positively bonkers, but oh well. There's been much back-and-forthing on my part lately. This ambivalence has taken some weird turns. Nonetheless, I shall concentrate on the two things that are in my title.

First, the blessing. My work was published in inscribed, which came out today. (check me out at www.inscribed.org). I'm proud, happy, a little nauseous and a bit scared. So far so good though! We shall see what we shall see. I shall consider it an inspiration from heaven. i can only be thankful for my "way with words".

And now my list of things unsaid. They don't apply to particular people. Okay, they do. But in the spirit of letting things go this year, here goes:

I know my cooking sucks, but thanks for eating it anyway.

How can you have the nerve to love me. You must have particularly thick skin or an affinity to torture!

It's fine if I only see you once a year. More than that, and I'm not sure I could handle it.

I try my best. Once in a while, try not to correct me.

No I didn't tell them. I won't ever.

I know I should love you, but I don't. And i'm not the only one.

For once, tell the truth and stop hiding it under that smile.

I can't believe you told me a bay leaf would kill me! I completely believed you and I'm the older one!

Don't call me hypocritical, when you consider yourself above others. Nothing gives you that right.

I love you, but sometimes you need to shut up.

I like you better over email, than I do in person.

You're tough to get past, but I'm a stubborn one.

I didn't talk to you then, why would I now?

If you're not going to make an effort, don't expect I will.

I'm sure I have more grievances than this. But I'm saying this for all of those people who want to say these things and can't. Take your pick!
Anyway, more over the weekend, and then on Monday! Ciao!