Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Eternal Nothingness is Okay if you're dressed for it


Current State of Mind: The Evil Dead

Current Song: Never Know by Jack Johnson *sigh*

I'm sick....I'm running a temperature and I don't feel like eating. Nor do I feel like being particularly on the up and up. But oh well. Well, the above quote is by Woody Allen. Again, funny, creeepy old man. He's sort of nerdy too. Which is good. I'm ever embracing my inner nerd. I think it's a good move. Also, if I get analytical enough, I can take over the world.

So, today I shall tell you the story of how I acquired the blog's name (Strawberry Ghetto, if you didn't pick that up already). When we were in london (where all things worth telling take place), my aunt made me go to the freezer and pull out a strawberry cake. It was marked Strawberry Gateau. But because my entire upper generation, meaning aunts, mother, uncles have accents, they end up saying Gateau like Ghetto. It's cute, and the topic of much ridicule. If you ask any one of them to say Ellison and Allison, they both sound like Ellison. Beecoz they hehve excents. It's still cute. Zoyah and I will acquire said accents when we are older. Yes, it doesn't matter that we were Canadian raised. All Ismailis must take on the personas of their parents.
And now you know.

Zoyah and i have discovered a new show. it's called the Hills and it's exactly like Laguna Beach but with way less good looking guys. We're watching the premiere next week! yes! I now have a reason to live again!

I was reading This Fish yesterday (a blog on ivillage:, and she wrote this list about things unsaid. Things you wish you said to people, but for whatever reason, you haven't. I'm going to do mine up soon. Expect a posting. Okay, until another time, when my eyeballs aren't on fire.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Spandex is Unforgiving and right now it's holding a grudge against you!


My title is care of my little sister (She came up with that! I'm the proudest sister. Her transformation is coming along nicely :))
It's been a movie kind of a weekend. Which was really good. On saturday I watched "The Scoop" with Scarlett Johannsen and Hugh Jackman (drool) and Woody Allen. Extremely funny movie, commissioned by the BBC, so you know it's good. I love Woody Allen. he's a creepy old man but he sure is funny! i recommend watching if you haven't already.

And then yesterday I watched Mr. India. A childhood favorite. it's indian obviously, so it was all my afternoon. It was great though! Mogambo is the best villain ever and you can't contest that! Even if you don't do the Indian movie thing. He could totally kick all other villains' asses right off of this world. Of course, it's a happy ending, so you know he didn't win, but still, you can't argue with an indian man who has blonde hair and a pit of red acid! Best movie ever! I must have seen it at least 2 dozen times since I was six years old!

Guess what else! I'm rocking this life! I am getting published in another magazine! I'm going to be in the February Issue of Inscribed Magazine! Yessssss! And at the end of the year, I shall be anthologized by Inscribed. yes, my world takeover is coming along nicely :) Props to be for being the best. Details when the mag comes out.

Have started new book. Called Rainsongs of Kotli by a local (Vancouverite) author named Tariq Malik. I shall let you know how it is. It's short so I will probably be done soon. i need to head down to my favourite bookstore soon.
Alright....must go waste some more time! Talk soon!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Things that Scare Me


So I've decided to write about things that scare me today. I'm not sure why, it was a really lovely sunny day, and I guess I get to be the cloud hanging behind the silver lining always a threat...rawr!

Okay, one thing that scares me is that guy who hosts the advert for the Christian Children's Fund. You know him: He looks like Santa in a safari suit. He always scares me because he's a combination of Santa and your mother's disappointment. He also says you're heartless if you change the channel, which makes it even worse. He scares me.

Another thing that scares me is babies. Not because I don't think they're cute. i never know what to do with them. I was never really a kid, so I can't relate. i end up wanting to shake hands with them and introduce myself formally. It's not good. i don't do baby language either, so really it's kind of a pointless. I'm not armed. Plus they're too noisy for my taste. They should be more quiet.

And the last thing that scares me is food that's piled up very high. This includes the oranges in the grocery store. One wrong move, and you could cause an utter catastrophe. Or if you take just the wrong amount off of the Biriani plate, and you cause an avalanche of chicken legs, rice and fried onion. Nightmare.
I hope this post makes up for being lame for the last while. enjoy!!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I'm Like Espresso: Expensive and Bitter


My head has been hurting all day and there seems to be no respite from the anguish that has thus become my life! Okay, that was a bit much, but you know, the headache really sucks!
Today was a great day to go for a walk. What a beautiful, crisp, sunny day to wander around the city aimlessly. i thoroughly enjoyed it. I do like it when we have that bit of a break from the rain (though, by now, we all know, if it rained all the time I would not complain)

And then of course, there is American idol, which ceaselessly torments my senses with the same homogeneous blob of talent/ talentless. Sometimes I think it's more of a circus sideshow. Also, I don't think that those judges have the maturity or delicatesse to be capable judiciaries for what some people see as their life goal. Really, half of them don't even sing! YUCK....

An update on Facebook: I'm feverishly talking to some people I have not spoken to in a long time, replying to virulent wall postings about "what have u been up to" and "nice pic" and various other niceties. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is to be determined at a later date. if they start getting on my nerves, I will deregister by gum! however it's dragging up the past a bit, and I'm not sure how to treat that yet. You know, you evolve past things and people sometimes to a point where you're not sure if you're even the same person. I guess people come back into your life for some reason and if they're meant to stick around,then they will. And if not, see you at the reunion suckers (or something nicer perhaps)!

You have to wonder at the profundity of life though don't you? Ah yes, and I am learning that having a bit of an edge as I do is not such a bad thing. you can call a spade a spade and know what you did was okay. Inconvenient, probably. okay, yes. I think i'm getting a bit too pensive for my own taste, so i shall shut the hell up.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

When in Doubt, Mumble


Wow, has it ever been raining out there or what! But nothing will stop the Jehovah's witnesses from knocking at the door.
So yesterday, i signed up for this new thing called Facebook ( It's this new myspace type thing, perhaps less annoying and you make up a profile and people can add you as friends and write on your graffiti wall. Oddly enough, there is an alumni group from my highschool there as well. Really, do I need another reason to hate people? I'm not part of the alumni group, but I could spy on them from time to time, if I really wanted to. Anyway, it's an interesting little thing. So far I have nine friends on it. Which is the total amount of friends I have in real life :) Nobody likes me :(

Also, my dearest of friends, who I have known for a long time now, has imported this book by Hafez, a persian poet from the umpteenth century. you ask the book a question, and you open up the pages to wherever you want, and it gives you an answer in the form of old persian poetry, which you then translate into now-talk. So obviously I asked about my love life/ lack thereof. Hafez gave me an answer alright. He said, leave it to God. The time will come. What??? Mum, are you sure you didn't write that book. Worst advice ever! Leave it to God...feh I say, Feh! Fine, I'll leave it to God, but I'd better get a damn good marriage out of it, or at least a long lasting affair, if not the former. And he'd better be good-looking to boot. Making me wait...*grumble grumble*
Okay, i'm done updating you on my rather dull existence. I'm going to go and eat now. Hunger calls!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Smashing Innit?


Current Mood: smurchy (you know what I mean!)
Current Song: America by Razorlight (It's what's on the BBC 1 chart show that I'm listening to right now with DJ JK and Joel!)

Well, I have received a sign from the heavens that indeed I should be moving to England (I'm taking it as a sign, I don't care what you say!) This morning I woke up with a British Accent. I'm kidding. Yesterday I got the very good news that some of my creative writing has been accepted by a UK magazine called White Chimney. Lads, I'm up for publication over the summer! That's right, you know a poet (in the official capacity. Not those weird people who choose to rhyme for fun on the bus. They're on this side of creepy) I'm more than thrilled. I think it's a smashing bit o' fun!
And it's a sunny day! Life is so lollipops and rainbows!

Wonder if you've ever felt like you wish you could keep tabs on people. Like there are some people who you just wish you knew what they were up to (usually it's no good). For no reason really. I guess it's akin to observing wildlife in its natural habitat. Hopefully they don't catch you in your safari suit and bino's scoping them from behind the cereal display that the Safeway! Seriously, some people are so strange that you want to take the challenge of figuring out what's in their heads by following them around. Okay, I'm starting to sound like a stalker. Nobody likes stalkers, not even other stalkers.

Tonight I settle in for a movie. I don't know what it's about. It's indian so it's going to be about half my life long. By the time we're finished, I should be a great aunt. Or perhaps an aunt. that all depends. Have a good rest of the weekend, and monday. I shall report back, unless between now and then, someone presents me with a Pulitzer...or a bagel....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

I'm convinced to within an acceptable margin of error that he loves me


The quote in my title is from Lilith Crane. You all probably know that I'm a huge Frasier fan. I hated cheers...still do, but I caught on to Frasier. Mostly because of his nice apartment and because I think Niles is hilarious. When everyone in highschool was watching Seinfeld, I'd be watching Dr. Crane. Lilith is the perfect example of people who don't show emotion. I love her, she's so sharp.

Anyway, enough of my drooling over that show. So, Rosie has started it up again huh. Today she has started by trashing Paula Abdul. Well, no, she started about a week ago. Okay, so she knows that the thing with Trump got out of hand, so wouldn't she watch what she said? I'm all for being outspoken (Heck, when have I ever shut up?), but there is a limit to it. Yes, and I agree that the judges on American Idol can be demonic and put people out of sorts, but if you didn't know that, then you probably shouldn't be on the show. It's just a bit silly. And I really think that Rosie should start to watch it. She's going to fall horribly out of favour if she continues to insult people. There is a line between being cleverly observant (like me! *haughty laugh*) and saying it like it is, and being unwittingly crass. She is starting to impose on the latter.

I'm happy to see the rain (FINALLY!). I hope it continues. I do like the rain, and I love the waterfront when it rains. There is something comforting in that blanket of fog. Okay, I stopped being funny about an hour ago, so I should stop and go to sleep. Wishing you Good Day and Good Mental Health!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I'm Not Shy....I'm Observing my Prey


So, yes I finally changed that flower. It was starting to feel a bit happy. I replaced it with a gargoyle, and a new pic of myself. Today i feel more like the gargoyle. I have had a headache again for 2 days. Don't ask. It seems to start off pretty badly in the morning.

I proceeded to read my "works of Dorothy Parker" again last night. if she wasn't dead, we'd probably be best friends. If you get a chance, read her story called the "Telephone Call". It's about a woman who is waiting for a telephone call from her boyfriend. She keeps praying to God that he'll call and makes silly bargains with him. It's a good indication of how stupid people act when they're in love. I say make the deal with the devil. He delivers right away. As they say, hard work pays off later, but laziness pays of Now! I say the devil is your man. I like him....he's aite.
My friend and I were having a talk about relationships and the unearthly fear that grips people when it comes to commitment. I say, don't jump in the deep end if you don't know how to swim. See that's why I go screaming and running the other way. There are those people who make all of the moves towards it, and then decide that they don't like the whole thing. I think fear is a dodgy sort of excuse to be making. You know perfectly well!

I miss london.

My typing has significantly slowed down. I have been typing this since 9 this morning (I'm kidding). I should probably go. Have an adequate day everyone!

Monday, January 15, 2007

I Will Not Encourage Others to Fly


So much for eventful. It looks like things are clouding over and we are going to be hit by another miniature, yet cold snow storm. Oh well, you can only bitch about it so much. I am glad that the East got their comeuppins. Winter golf my butt! Take that Ontario!

So they executed Saddam Hussein's Right Hand Man....But they mucked it up. He's a tall guy and they gave him too much rope and he picked up too much vertigo, hence decapitating him. Wow, wonder what it would be like to be in that room. I wouldn't want to catch that! Oh dear. I guess Physics and war tactics are not the strong points for the Americans. Maybe they should stick to shootin' 'coons...

Ooh ooh! New Blogs! I discovered "Seen Reading" a lovely blog written by a Torontonian Writer, Julie Wilson. She basically gets on a bus (to somewhere I'm sure) and writes about the people that she sees reading books. Very candid and beautifully written. Also, her work will be published in Maissonneuve magazine (A Cultural/Literary magazine from Montreal) *Sigh* yet another person to look upto. ( I am feeling increasing left behind lately. I must catch up on my reading....But there are so many other things I have to do...Like watch my neighbour from the kitchen window as he makes a futile and assinine attempt to chisel out chunks of ice from the road with a screwdriver and a wrench (acting as a hammer). I will of course, keep you updated on his progress......

Friday, January 12, 2007

If the Shoe Fits, Buy one in Every Colour!


I'm terribly excited now. I just watched a documentary on my favourite thing: Shoes! CBC aired a special documentary called High Heel Confidential. There are people dedicated to the history and art of shoes. And of course, such shoe gods as Manolo Blahnik make the whole industry no joke. I think, perhaps the most wonderful thing about shoes is that you don't have to be a certain body shape to wear them. You can wear a stiletto at any size and look great. Everything works.

I'm all about shoes and purses. They even beat out chocolate and men (Combined!). Plus shoes don't talk back....which is great.

By the way, please stop drooling on your keyboards's very unsanitary. Pictured here is the Manolo Blahnik Leopard Print suede shoe retailing at $515. I have sworn to myself that one day I will own these shoes. It's a "thing to do before I die"

I also watched a documentary on the life of Harry Houdini (not as interesting as shoes, I know). Did you know he was an Aries? How weird...all the crazy ones are me. I also took this quiz once that asked which famous leader I would be. Turns out I'm Hitler. but of course with better hair and wardrobe (also, no moustache).

Okay, I shall go and sleep now. and dream about shoes I could buy if I sold my organs.....ciao!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

My fake plant died because I forgot to pretend to water it.


Generally a terribly dull day. i think this snow is left my brain coated with a frosty white film that's going to be hard to scrape off one of these days. On the other hand, I did watch Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty. Good shows. I love that new episodes are starting up. I wish my life was as interesting as theirs is. Sadly....not.

I think that my current challenge is to find a reason to shave my legs. I was thinking about that. I have no idea why we get all dolled up for no reason at all. All this maintenance is terribly time consuming. Perhaps a warm climate would be a good idea. I should look into a retreat in the Bahamas or something.

A dear friend of mine reminded me the other day that our 10 year reunion is going to be in 3 years. I'm hoping to have accomplished something significant by then. This seems to be terribly slow to be getting going. Hm, how to begin saving the world.....oh I know! I'll start with a healthy breakfast and see where things go from there!

Ah yes, I have my retirement plan already. After I get famous, I am going to retire in the greek Islands in a lovely house by the sea. Of course a hat will be necessary. Occassionally I shall visit the Greek ruins and write my memoirs. You can all drop by of course. Alright, I have exhausted scaling this writers block. Tomorrow, I shall try and be more interesting!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.


Fun thing to do at Wal-Mart: Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles

Wouldn't it be fun to freak people out in a Wal-Mart. i'm going to borrow a blow dryer and stalk around the place ninja-style and shoot at people and make laser gun sounds "Peeeeeeeeeew". yes, i seem to have lost my mind. This is true. My opinions however are riiiiiiiiiiiight here.

So Bush made his big ole planification revelation today. Basically let's send more people into Iraq until we win. What would success look like there? I think we are beyond the meaning of success. There won't be any. Well, he'll be remembered that's for sure. Rather daft plan, but now that everyone has noticed how much time and money and lives have gone into this war, and they know it's wrong, he knows it too. But making a complete 180 turn would mean he would first have to admit that he has been wrong for the last 4 years. Ah yes, power is great isn't it? But beware the electrical surges.

And now onto Rosie and Donald. Stop it! We don't care! There are far more important things to think about (like how horrible this snow is!). It's turned into an elementary school name-calling session. There are letters. yes, my children, trump wrote a note and bashed Barbara Walters. you can't bash Barbara. She's edutainment royalty! How dare you!
Okay, I'm done. Also, If you're reading this John Stewart. I think you should be President. A Hearty Boo-Yah to you my friend!

Monday, January 8, 2007

I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer


Quote of the Day: Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

Current State of Mind: Punchy
Current Song: Smiley Faces

I'm glad that snow is gone now. Geez, enough already. Finally I can walk around in my sandals again. One day I will have no toes.
So, the latest on the The Donald and O'Donell. Rosie is finally back from vacation and she said that she's not offended that donald called her fat (why would she be...she could sit on him and kill him if she so chose!) Good for her I say. I think she's hilarious actually. There are not too many outrageous people out there that will just say what's on their mind. Plus I think that Donald is really cutting it with this whole thing. His new show started, and I'm wondering how the ratings are going to do. Have you ever noticed that nobody that's overweight (especially women) have never been contestants on that show? Hmmmm....interesting observation. I'm quite smart if I get to say so myself :)

Also, there is nothing wrong with being a bit curvy. I am the most, of the generation of cousins in my family. And frankly, I'm freaking hot! (and the most modest person you'll ever meet tee hee). So nuts to you!

Tomorrow everyone must watch CBC at 8:30. There is a new show called "Little Mosque on the Prairie" that is starting and it's a comedy about a guy who goes to become a Mullah (or imam, I forget which) at a mosque in manitoba or somewhere. it's about how hilarious canadian muslims are. Exhibit A: Me! It's a must watch. C'mon let's give Corner Gas some competition!

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Bursting the Big Bubble


Captain's Log (yes I said it)
Current State of Mind: forboding, and kind of hungry
Current Song: Emily Haines Dr. Blind

Vancouver is an embarrassment sometimes. i do so enjoy the city, with it's Starbucks dotting the metropolitan field like so many caffeinated daisies, and its view of the ocean and the mountains all at once, giving you a sensory overload. You really can't breathe it in enough for the life of you.

However, we embarrass ourselves in front of the world all too often. Yesterday, if you haven't already heard, BC Place deflated. Yes, that's right, deflated. There got to be a giant hole in one of the panels in the roof, and then the whole thing collapsed in on itself. And this is the venue that is supposed to be hosting the opening and closing ceremonies for the 2010 Olympics. Again, how are we supposed to do that if the roof falls in? I'm not sure anymore what my tax dollars are paying for. We are so behind! How terrible for everyone
On the bright side, Canada won the juniors in world hockey. That rocks (uh, I think).
It's currently unfathomably icy outside and nobody is going anywhere fast today. So we're all going to stay inside, because I hear there is no traffic out there (and for good reason). And you Ontarians shut up! Even with snow tires we can't snake our way up these frickin mountains okay?
Okay, i'm done yelling at central Canada...I bid you good day sir!

Friday, January 5, 2007

A healthy, male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his weight in other people's patience


I can't believe this! Snow??!! Haven't we suffered enough? Stupid Canada....they promised me global warming and still nothing! I'm totally kidding, I want the polar bears to be present in the no global warming. But still, stupid canada...why God, why!

So I have been following (mainly because I have no choice) the little spat between Rosie O'Donnell and "The Donald". How weird is that whole thing. Yes, given that Rosie can be a bit...uhm....abrasive. i still think that Trump is being a bit unreasonable with all of this mudslinging and name-calling. it's a bit grade 2 playground at recess don't you think? As I sit here, drinking my trump-flavoured mineral water, and wearing my trump pajamas and type on my trump keyboard (yes, all of the letters are actually trump faces. Let's just say, sometimes you don't know what letter you are hitting), I wonder if some people have evolved past being childish. I guess money doesn't bring happiness or maturity. But it can sure put you in some good swag!

So there we are. I should probably do something

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

The Pursuit of Purses (and Happyness, I guess)


First of all, no, that is not a typo in my title. I'm getting to it.
Well, we went to see the pursuit of happyness yesterday. Finally. I thought it was a very good movie, just like I expected it would be. Perhaps I had been primed to the feel-goodness about the whole thing. I think that Will Smith's son did a great job, and I can't believe Will used to be that goofy kid in Day-glo hats on the "Fresh Prince" (hey, whatever happened to DJ. Jazzy Jeff?). I recommend watching it because it's just plain good, and inspiring and all of that happy happy stuff we wish life was made of.
In discussions thereafter (because I'm a nerd), we talked about how it does take a little luck and people to give you a break in order for you to be able to make it somewhere in this world. Yes, the hard work thing totally pays off as well, but really, so many people just work hard all their I right?
Lesson of the day: Give some people the benefit of the doubt (they're not all stupid).

I on the other hand, am stupid. I bought a purse. I didn't really need to, but I fell in love with it. You know that weird feeling you have when you're in love, where you think about the one person all the time, and you can't eat and you can't sleep and you lie awake at night dreaming of your next encounter (ooooh, what will I wear!). Well, that has been me for the last 2 weeks when it comes to this stupid purse. Finally I just had to ask it out. And here it sits now, full of all of my various bits of paper, too many pens, an agenda, and the almighty celphone. I always get what I want....Always....

Monday, January 1, 2007

Camp Reflections


Sorry, you lot. i can't put up too many more pictures than these two in. I'd have to get permission for 85 people to do so. But you get the idea. The picture on the left is Loon Lake, in all its British Columbian pristine glory (in the snow). It's a very gorgeous lake.

The picture on the right is the girls lounge area. Our dorm/cabin came with its own lounge area with fireplace, balcony and private bathroom (butler costs extra). Yes, fun times....I don't remember too much....zoink!

Oh, yes, and here is the Annual you can see I have a lot to brag about. Go on, you can tell me I'm cute...I won't mind